The magician and the parrot:
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so he did the same tricks over and over again. There was one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show. ”Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything about it. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
One fateful day, the ship sank.
The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as luck would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for three days until, on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back.
"OK, I give up. Where's the ship?"
How Canada got its name:
When the founders of Canada were deciding on a name for their new nation, they were at a loss.
They decided to put Scrabble tiles in a bag and draw letters to determine the name for their country.
The first letter that they drew was a "C," and the person who drew the letter said, "C, eh."
The next letter was an "N," and the person who drew the letter said, "N, eh."
The third letter was a D, which prompted "D, eh." Thus, the name for
the country became C-eh-N-eh-D-eh...
A slighyly misogynistic jJoke:
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.